Hi, I am new here. I am a recovering heroin addict and have been on
suboxone for about 2 years. a little while ago I decided I wanted to get off because of the cost. I managed to taper down to 0.5mg and then jumped. Days 1 & 2 were not bad at all, all I really had was RLS. Now that night of day 2 going into day 3 was HELL!
For the first time in my life, I actually did not sleep for ONE MINUTE! I am sorry not trying to sound mean here it's just I feel like I am gonna jump out of my skin. Anyway so let me give a bit of background. My doctor told me I should be on subs for life, but thats also what he tells everyone else and I think he's in it for the money;)
So I went ahead and figured I'd do the taper myself. I managed to get him to give me the 2mg pills along with the 8's Because I started on 16mg/day and told him I wanted to be on 10mg. The tapering up until 2mg was no problem. When I got to 1 mg the restless legs started. At first it was bearable but by the the time I actually jumped of at 0.5mg it was becomming bad.
The first 2 days ( I have been reading a lot on here ) I thought wow this is not nearly as hard as heroin what are the people talking about. And then that night it was like BAM I just got hit with sneezing fits, Terrible acheing/ restless legs, and insomnia.
I must say I am fortunate though because I only had a little diarehha and it was not to bad wither was my stomach. WHat's killing me is the restless legs and insomnia! When I have a good night sleep I can deal with the legs, but when I am sleep deprived, I just go CRazy and have come close to giving up but I know it has to end sometime.
I read a lot of what you guys posted and got some immodium and multi-vitamins but My doctor WOULD NOT prescribe clonodine because in his words " I will not assist you in relapsing " can you believe that! I don't want to have to rely on some pill my whole life just to survive! Plus that stuff was good to get me back on track but it makes me numb to everyday emotions and the small things in life like sunsets! I got so tired of feeling numb!
I told this doctor that being sober was a choice and that I would not relapse unless I wanted to. But still he refused hoping that I would give up and come crawling back.
But I am not! It just really sucks thought because I am on day 5 today and I read that days 3,4, and 5 are the toughest physically and I have not slept in 2 days. I think a lot of what I'm feeling is more attributed to the sleep deprivation! I am 21 years old and relitivly healthy and active so I guess I am as " prime " as a candidate as can be for withdrawal.
Honestly, I am starting lose hope though I am just so on edge now and The worst part of it is the RLS! I could deal with the other symptoms easily ( well it's not a walk in the park but....) just my point is that the rls is keeping me up at night so much I feel I am losing my mind. Although this is not nearly as agonizing as H w/d it plays games with my head becuase I am usually started to feel better from H w/d by now.
Sorry for all the info but my question is what can I do about the rls so i can get some sleep? I cannot get ahold of clonodine and do not want to resort to buying benzos off the street and all I have are some vic 10's which I refuse to take unless I am absolutly dying! But the thing is I don''t even feel the bad aside from the rls. Like this is by no means easy, but I have had way worse pain than this. I just want to find some kind of remedy for the rls.
I am becomming so disoriented from lack of sleep that I am scared to drive and today when I was putting my clothes on I started freaking out becuase I had some old sub slivers left in my drawer and I got scared that I absorbed some through my skin or inhaled it and was worried that I have to start from step one again. Now that is anxiety! I know thats paranoid but I just really could use some help or advice or encouragement. Thanks a lot and by the way I read the thomas recipe and saw somthing about potassium for legs? would that help at all you guys think? Thanks again
